Since another friend will be coming in to Dublin to hang out, and she's never been to Dublin before, so we're doing the city tour thingy then.. I didn't have much to do today. So I decided to sleep in (ahhhhh....) and then go wandering around in search of the Hard Rock Cafe to get a shot glass for a co-worker.

I found the Hard Rock Cafe. I also got lost in doing so. But I DID find the cafe. And I DID find my way back. So as far as I'm concerned, it's all good! I saw some really fun things, and then realized..... I forgot my camera. DAMMIT! I'll just have to get pictures another time.

Did more shopping for peoples and talked to some more lovely peoples along the way before coming back to the hotel to drop off things and relax while thinking of dinner.

I decided to have dinner at the first place I came across when going in a particular direction, which ended up being an Italian place called... "The Italian Connection". The waitress suggested their special, and after glancing over it, and only recognizing the words "veal" and "gorgonzola" I decided to give it a try.

Words cannot describe how amazing that dish was. After decent food all trip, nothing spectacular, though, that dish was just heaven. It was... gah. Just awesome. It made my tummy very very happy.

So.. all in all a productive day. I got to see the scale of the "city center" and found a place where, if I don't get in to the Guiness Storehouse or the Jameson Distillery tomorrow, I can still get merchandise and the other people will never know that it didn't come directly from those places.

Tomorrow I'll remember my damn camera. :-p

For the record.... I love Dublin.

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Cling Wrap

45% Anxiety Over Abandonment and 26% Avoidance Of Intimacy

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

It's so true ;.; I'm not ashamed of it ether, it's just who I am *follows random guys around like a puppy dog*
Aw, WALL-E :D! *hugs him*

Rawrrrrr.... I wanted to go to cedar point with my friend today, but I couldn't find anyone to pick up my shift. Oh well, it's just as well, with my schedule, it's hard for me to get up early. They left for the park at 8am this morning, it's like 11:30 right now and I feel like I have brain damage still, I'm so tired. That and I'm feeling under the weather, it's that time of the month and my throat hurts from work and so on.

I'm kinda down too... miss my boyfriend.... feel down about some other stuff which is probably related to my period and so on, it's a girl thing.

Mehhhhhhh.......

I can't put my finger on what exactly, I just feel really bad and have alot of different things on my mind.

I need a hug...

I don't have one but I've always thought it would be cool to have one somewhere around my belly button :)...

23:09 Replying to an electric mayhem muppets fanfic :P. I still don't understand some 70's slag -.- #

23:15 ..still wondering why I have not gotten any reviews on my newest chapter..is it really that bad? #

23:26 Staying up 'till midnight every night can't be a good sign :P #

23:41 Watching Vertigo..it's not scary to me yet..just confusing O.o #

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This is something...I wonder how do you reply to someone? :\

Short entry.

Train back to London and to Gatwick and subsequent flight to Dublin went well. Found the appropriate bus and stop and even my hotel with extreme ease. Happiness.

I was told repeatedly there was no internet in this hotel. I was going to be completely off the grid until I got to Athens. I'm going "Surely there's SOME wireless I can pick up somewhere, right? Dublin isn't exactly the middle of nowhere."

So I look, and find a secure connection the same name as my hotel (Avondale). I go "hmmmm"... and on a "what the hell" try, I put in "Avondale" as the passphrase.

I'm online.

God I love people who can't properly secure their networks.

In other news. First impressions of Ireland:

OMG GREEN!
OMG GORGEOUS!
OMG COLD!
OMG STREET SIGNS IN GAELIC!
<3!!!!

(written the morning of the 7th, as this night I just crawled in to bed and crashed)

I am a weakling and a wuss. I know this. I absolutely positively cannot stand cold. I'm from a place where it freezes two or three times during the winter, and very rarely stays below freezing during the day. My summers are meant to be hot and muggy (though not as muggy as other places). And when I say hot, I mean it's still 90+ at 6pm and might MIGHT get in the 80's overnight. This is what I am used to. I know I'm at a MUCH higher latitude, and so wore jeans, tennis shoes, a t-shirt, and brought a fleece. Heaviest fleece I own, in fact. And by 4pm I was shivering. My muscles this morning are sore from shivering for.. well.. other than the brief time in the pub between adventures, I started shivering around 4pm, and didn't get warm again until in Mike's car on the way home.... at 12:30.

I felt so bad, too, because my damn shyness really kept me from participating. I wanted to do something. Be a monster in the second adventure. Talk to people. SOMETHING. But I am way way way too fucking shy to even try to do something like that in an obviously fairly close knit group. I had fun watching, and taking part in conversations when I could. It felt good that at the end of things, people were telling amusing stories, and one person would take time to come over and explain the backstory to me, so that I could get the joke.

But to be honest, I did feel a bit..... forgotten. I didn't expect Mike to always come over and make sure I had someone to talk to. Far from it. This is his group of people and his group of friends. Add in that he's one of the refs of the group, and that gives even more reason why he'd be really really busy during the day. And I know that in large groups I try to blend in to the background and hope I'm not noticed. But... I still felt forgotten at times. At the very end, it's well after 10pm, if not 11pm already, the sun has set I am in full shiver "ohmygoditsfuckingcoldgetmetoawarmplace" mode. Everyone comes back to get gear and set off towards the pub, and Mike comes, picks up his gear and sets off without even seeing where I am or if I'm ok. I nearly had to run to catch up to him, and even then.. *shrugs* not sure if he noticed. And then the pub was closing and the group had some final things to finish up, outside. Which took well over an hour, all the while I'm sitting on a stump, rocking back and forth trying to be warm and not succeeding.

I guess it's that, in a big group I want to blend in to the background and not be noticed..... by the people I don't know. But it's being forgotten by my friends that hurts. He did apologize saying that he doesn't notice how cold it really is because he's in layers, and armor. Which I can totally understand. If he were at my home, I'd not notice the heat, where he'd be dashing into any and all stores just for the air conditioning.

All that being said, though, I did have fun. They're a... unique group of people that I really wish I could come back and spend more time with. Once I got to know the system and everything better, I'm positive I would have joined in. Possibly even created a character. The storylines were interesting, particularly how they evolved over the course of the adventure. I found myself looking at the weapons and shields going "I bet I could make that." And the times I did talk to people (when I found myself just standing alone with one person. One on one I'm great. In a group I just close up and don't talk at all.) they were very nice and honestly I was glad I didn't get plagued with 1000 questions about where I was from, what I did, why am I here, etc.

Mike had to be in at work early this morning, and so was already gone when I woke up. I kind of wished he'd at least have knocked on my door to see if I was awake to say goodbye. Dunno. I know he probably didn't even think of it, as at that time in the morning, I'm not thinking of much besides what my next task is. (Feed the cats. Take a shower. Get dressed. Leave.) But it would have been nice to say goodbye. Considering I highly doubt I'll be able to come back again before I get my PhD, and even then unlikely as I'll not be getting paid much more as a postdoc, and I won't be able to take 2 weeks off. Saying goodbye is just... something I feel is necessary at times. Dunno. So that... kinda hurts. Don't blame him, but kinda hurts all the same. Goes along with the "feeling forgotten" bit. *shrugs*

Looking back at this entry, it looks like my time here was miserable and Mike is an unfeeling asshole, which is totally and utterly not true. But.. *shrugs* This is my LJ and a place where I put down everything that I feel, good and bad. And it's 8:30am, and I am very very VERY far from home. And the one person I know well enough to even EAT around has had to go to work and left without even saying goodbye.

DAMMIT. This is my fucking VACATION. I will NOT get depressed!

I should probably pack up, get clothes out for the day, and get ready. Mike's dad is taking me to the station so I can get on a train at around 11:20ish which, if things work out well (when does THAT ever happen?) should get me to Gatwick around 2pm. For a 5pm flight. My kind of arrival time.

Hopefully this will get posted before the 11th, but I don't know.

(This is being posted on the 7th, when I have internet.. but was written earlier, hence the datestamp)


Not much touristy stuff done today, as I checked out of the hotel and then navigated myself around England's rail system to get to Ipswich. To be honest, I have no clue where in the country I am, but it's good to see Mike again. I still feel absolutely embarassed about bringing Tony last time, though. Just.... I don't want his parents thinknig that's the kind of person I hang out with on a regular basis. I almost wanted to go up to them and say "Hello again. Thank you for letting me sleep at your house. I am so sorry about the person I was with last time. I haven't spoken to him in two years."

Anyways, as always getting OUT of London was the hard part. That walk to Victoria isn't all that bad... unless you have a huge freakin suitcase, and then it's torture due to all the steps. Lug it downstairs to get to the underground itself. Then down more stairs to get to the Circle line platform. Lug it on the train and blessedly sit for a bit while I go halfway around the Circle line to Liverpool Street. Lug it off the train and up way... way... way too many stairs to get to the train platforms. Lug it into the train and then it's a lovely hour or so ride out.

I got to the station around 1:30 but Mike didn't get off work until 2, and even then Ipswich is still a distance from where he lives, so he and his dad didn't get there till around 3pm. *shrugs* I was expecting that so the hour and a half in the station wasn't too bad. I did a bit of reading, and I'd forgotten how much I loved this particular book.

Saw Hancock, which is quite good, in my opinion. Not going to win any awards, but funny, cheesy, and cute.

Then back to Mike and his parents' place for dinner and in general hanging out until bedtime. This time no visits to the pub to show how English beer totally messes me up. :-p But when we all went to bed it was Mike's idea to start drinking the rum and Coke's. And so we didn't get to sleep until 4:30. But, as promised, I did get quite drunk, and it was a lot better when I was comfortable who I was with, if not where I was. (Homesickness setting in).

This is the first of the journals that will have to be posted in a huge lump whenever I get internet again. I don't know when that will be. Depending on when I get to the airport on Monday, I might just pay the 5 pounds (if it's still that) to get on Gatwick's wireless so I can check mail and the like.

I just learned how to make custom friends lists :)! Now I can post about Pokemon or Fraggle Rock fanfic and not bore anyone that is not interested :).

WHOOOO I just checked my mail for the first time in over a week and seen this from atlus

"Persona 4 is coming to North America.

It will be in stores THIS holiday season, December 9th, in a deluxe 2-disc release. Each and every copy of Persona 4 will include a soundtrack CD with select music from the game.

Persona 4. December 9th. Only $39.99. Mark your calendars."

:D

THAT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Persona 3 = one of my favoritest games EVER. (1 and 2 weren't bad, but the dating sim features in 3 and the awesome story, and the fact it was over 200 hours of play time, = one of the best games of all time in my opinion)

I wonder how 4 will be ^-^b

London: 5
Ashley's sense of direction: 0

I'm getting owned here.

Also, phrases that made me smile today:

While at lunch, a gaggle of what seemed to be 12 year old boys at the table next to me. I overheard this...

"Hey! Hey! If you try LSD, I'll give you 30 quid!"

And an announcement heard over the PA repeatedly while on the tube:

"Apparently there are delays on the Central and Hammersmith & City Lines. Please plan accordingly."

I love that.. "Apparently", like they'd just heard thorugh the grapevine that things were running a bit slow that day.

And heard on the way out, same PA system.

"Due to staffing shortages, apparently there are severe delays on the Circle line. Passengers are advised to make other travel arrangements."

(Dude! Not our fault! We ain't got enough people! Go somewhere else.)

Again... "aparrently". That amuses me.

About me :

I am old... ok, maybe not old old... but I feel old. I haven't run since HS gym class a good 8-10 years ago. I haven't worked out in a while and I feel I am a little out of shape. I will be starting school again at the end of August and will be getting my assoc. in Massage Therapy.

Why start running (or trying to)? Well... John is one of the best people I know. I admire him a lot. He is obviously a runner, and training to do the leadville 100. Insane 100 mile race in the middle of august at a high elevation? Lately We have been spending less and less time together because his job is very demanding with his time not leaving him much time to himself or to hang out with me. One day the last week of June we were talking and I made a comment about maybe I should run too, and he said why not, so I thought about it and then went out and bought some shoes. (ok and a shirt that made my boobs look good... stfu. :p )
And so it happened to be on the 1st of July that I ran.

anyway, other like liking it so far I am doing it to understand why he's so into it and as kind of a way to hang out with him without actually hanging out with him. I fully support him funning the crazy ultra, and I'd like to be able to be better at supporting him. His job is making things hard so I know he can use all the encouragement he can get. I think he likes that I am starting to run. He's supportive which is nice. Boy is also very supportive, I told him I was going to start trying to run and knowing me for as long as he has just said, "I know you can do it Doe." He's always been very supportive of me like that though, which I guess is one reason why he's my best friend.

I will need to find a treadmill or something indoors I can use for the winter... My knees will refuse to go outside for more then 5 minutes here. They hate the cold dryness of Colorado... Maybe if I was still in Oregon it'd be cool (and not icy/snowy, just nice and rainy). I just don't want to hurt my knees again by freezing the hell out of them.


... I am glad I don't work until 9 tonight or I would be freaking tired as hell going in. Now I am babbling about running because I am tired and exciting about doing this.

Would anyone want to make little ol' me a running themed icon for this journal? <3

Ran again this morning. I got off work about 4:20 today (20 minutes late, as usual.)
I really just wanted to go home and go to bed. But I got home and put my running stuff on and went out the door. I am proud of myself for that alone as the desire to sleep was REALLY quite overwhelming.

I had measured about a half mile in my car from one street to another, ran down that, across the block and up the other half then did it again. After the 1st half mile I started being able to run longer and further before having to walk. I even walked much shorter times then last time.
Granted it could have been because it was dark when I started and nice and cool and the first day it was pretty warm.
I noticed towards the end of the run I could smell the grass as if I had fresh cut grass up my nose. It was weird and really sweet smelling. Being able to watch the sun come up like that and hear the birds as I ran without having to worry too much about dodging cars, bikes and random people was relaxing. I hate being up that early (late?) but it I do think I like running at that time better then with the sun up.

Talked to John a little bit about running last night. He wants me to run a marathon someday. I told him I think I'll start with one mile first and work my way up as it will probably be a while before I am ready for it.

My goals are as follows :

1. Run 1 mile
2. Run a 5k
3. Run a half
4. Run a full

It might take me a while but so far I like it. I hope this is something I'll stick with for a long time. Also it sounds silly if I really think about it but I want a bigger heart and I want to slow my heartbeat.


2~ish miles

So after all my thoughts of "I should do this, or this, or this or that." I realized I really didn't want to do much of anything today. I've seen Westminster and Parliament and been up in the London Eye. I can mentally erase the negative things that were surrounding me at the time.

I hate feeling rushed or obligated to do anything on my vacation. This whole thing is supposed to be for me to have fun and relax. A break between ending my job *sniff* and frantically packing and moving.

And right now the best way for me to relax is NOT to be running around trying to see everything I can see in the shortest period of time. Yeah, ok, so there won't be many pictures from today. But I just really feel like doing... nothing. I'm having fun watching the people under my window, and listening to conversations on the street. I'll go out and grab lunch here eventually, but even then I'll probably just sit and people watch at wherever I end up going.

Just.. not in the mood to be touristy today.

Tonight is the 4th of July party at the Texas Embassy Cantina, so I'll bring the camera for that. But... today I think I'm just going to relax, people watch, and not worry about what I "should" be doing.

This is *my* vacation, dammit! I'm going to relax whatever way I choose to! :-p

Oh.. and pictures:

https://webspace.utexas.edu/sunback/Pictures/Vacation2008/England

Yeah, I've got folders for each of my three destinations. Right now there's only stuff in England because.. well.. I've only been to England. :-p

Jose: She just did a batch in 7 minutes AND she's on chat! I don't believe it.
Me: I'm talking to my mommy! I had to tell her I did something cool.
Jason: Did you tell her you're a batchaholic?
Me: No. I don't think she could handle that in her daughter.
Jason: She wouldn't understand it anyway. You can only understand it if you're here in the batchcave.
Me: Nah. The guy I'm seeing now understands it.
Jason: No he doesn't.
Me: Yeah, I think he does. He's a pretty smart cookie.
Jason: Well, that's your problem! You're dating a food!
Me: Well... he is pretty delicious...
Jose: Man, you're one tough cookie!
Me: See? We're both cookies. This could work out.
Jason: Better be careful... cookies crumble.
Me: Would that make this a crummy relationship?

LULZ

Amending my previous statement. I shall try to at least write down what's happened every time I come back to my laptop. Since my camera batteries were nearly dead, I figured I should come back and relax a bit during the day. So here I am.

Amazingly enough, I woke up at 7am (ok, so I woke up about 10 times during the night... partly due to the fact that my window is over the street, and I'm sleeping with it open.. and partly due to the fact that... well.. I'm not at home, there are no kitties sleeping with me, and it's a strange place), and debated a bit about sleeping more or just getting up to greet the day.

The idea of free food decided me that getting up was a good idea. So.. shower and get ready. The free food was.... cornflakes and white toast, but hey, it was free. And in this country where you just have to double everything to make it what you're really spending in USD, free is good, no matter what it is.

So.. fed, I decided to start off with the Tower of London, since the last time I went I didn't really take that many pictures and I felt all out of place with an Englishman near me. I didn't take many pictures this time because, well, it was all the same, but I did feel a lot more at home. Chatted with some delightful people (some native, some tourist), and wandered around a bit more than I did before.

It rained. Just thought I should put that in there.

I also bought things for people. Stuff and things, but not junk!

Deciding that I didn't want to wander around Westminster with stuff and things hanging off my arm, and my camera was telling me it needed more batteries (I didn't charge it before I left... oops), I made the decision to come back to the hotel. So.. here I am.

Ran in to a LOVELY British woman walking back from the station who was walking her two dogs. One was 15 and just so laid back, the other was 8 and acted like a puppy. She was just bounding and happy because I noticed her and wanted to pay attention to her. So the lady and I talked some. I *love* talking to random people here. Firstly, I just love talking to random people. Secondly, they always seem so surprised that I'm not this arrogant stuck up American. Thirdly, ok, yes, the accents get me. I *love* English accents! And it's just... so cool to just sit and talk about the day or the like with someone random in a different country.

Anyways... that's all I managed to hit in the... oh... 5 hours since I left at 8am. The underground is really really delayed on the one line that I need, so it takes forever to get places. And the other line I could take is down.... for what seems indefinitely.

Ah well.. I'll probably try and get to the London Eye tonight for pictures of London at night time. I decided that while I do need to get more pictures of Westminster, and Parliament, I've already been in Westminster and I can't take pictures in there anyways, so there's no need to go in to it again, really.

Speaking of pictures, I'll put them up on my webspace later on. I can't have the laptop plugged in while the camera batteries are charging, so I don't want to overtax the laptop and have it die on me.

Until tonight! *waves*

Is it wrong for me to want her to get a car because I can't stand having to wait hours after work because she has 'just one more thing'.

I know it's selfish but I'm getting to the point where I want to almost cry because all I want to do is go home. I don't want to sit at work and keep working problem files for people who are out on the rig acting like some fucking god almighty.

I don't want to sit at work and wait for 'just one more thing'. I get in at 6 am.... I don't want to have to wait till 6pm to leave.

I know it's selfish.. but dammit - I go out of my way to drop her off every night so she doesn't have to take the bus. I don't think it's asking that much to get her to try to get out of the office on time.

... still at work.

... still waiting.

... she's still working.

I wanna go home.

(whines)

I've been sitting outside since about 11am. Temperature on deck under canopy: 98 degrees. # of kids outside on my block and the next one over: 1. Sage. -_- With all the sweating I've been doing, I better lose a pound or two for this shit.

My mom got  a new cellphone today and as soon as tony gets here after work, I gotta go to verizon and have them transfer all the crap from my phone onto her old phone. My phone took a shit on me and all it shows is a white screen. Lucky for me that A: My mom got a new phone B: she gave me hers and C: it's still a chocolate. :D

Talked to my adviser last Friday and I only have 9 more classes till I graduate. The suck part. Oh wait, there's more than one shitty part!
1. Brit Lit I is only offered once a  year. I may have to wait until next august to graduate instead of next May. -_-
2. My campus doesn't offer a communications Major or Minor. I'm one class away from the minor and 6 classes from a double major. IF my fucking campus had that major/minor. Needless to say, Dust is NOT happy considering that school told me they'd make a minor for me. -_-

I got a bike so I could start biking to lose some weight, but I just don't have the motivation. I told Tony we need to get him a bike, because he likes biking and I'd be more inclined to bike if I had someone doing it with me. We'll see how soon that bike for him materializes...


GUESS WHAT?! Den did Poison Envy for me. :D It's for my subeta profile! ILU!